Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski spoke at Hayden Library on April 16 about their New York Times-bestselling book, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. The book was the spring 2025 selection for MIT Reads, the Institute’s all-campus reading and discussion program.

Emily Nagoski, a sex educator and researcher, and twin sister Amelia Nagoski, a conductor and music professor, explored the themes of Burnout in dialogue with Karen Singleton, Deputy Chief Health Officer of MIT Health, in front of a capacity crowd in the Nexus and an audience online. Written for anyone who has felt overwhelmed and exhausted by everything they have to do, yet still worried they weren’t doing enough, Burnout has resonance across the MIT community.

The good news? We don’t need to deal with the source of stress to feel better. “Stress is not your enemy,” says Amelia, “getting stuck is your enemy.”

In Burnout, the Nagoskis explain that our bodies have a biological stress response cycle. Even when the source of stress is no longer present, if we don’t complete the cycle, it can lead to exhaustion. The authors present seven evidence-based strategies for helping our bodies complete the stress response cycle, from the expected — physical activity, sleep, crying, and laughter — to the more surprising — engaging one’s imagination, creative self-expression, and loving connection.

In a wide ranging conversation that included original songs, Tai Chi exercises, and an audience Q&A, the Nagoskis explored topics including toxic perfectionism, why we need sleep and strategies for getting enough, the research behind gratitude, and the importance of creating meaning in our lives.

“Joy comes from the connection to something larger and your community,” says Emily. “And because your sense of meaning — your something larger — resides within yourself, it can never be taken from you.”

Watch a recording of the event on our YouTube channel.